It’s been a year for me. Since July of last year, I’ve been thrown medical issue after issue and received news about my fertility that devastated me. I’m not ready to share specifics on everything I’ve been through in the last year yet, but I’m here to share the aftermath and how I get back to feeling more like myself.
I’m in an active process of healing right now. Not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. I’m hoping if I use the blog to document this process, it might help keep me on track. And maybe it’ll resonate with anyone who feels similarly lost and defeated and is struggling with their health or chronic conditions.
Among other things, my POTS symptoms are feeling pretty bad again, and I’m attributing that to being on a lot of bed rest for the last several weeks from being sick with the flu and getting endometriosis surgery. I also haven’t been able to exercise as I normally have because of an ongoing pain issue (still undiagnosed). Part of my healing process is to try to get my POTS symptoms under control again (note I didn’t say “cured.”)
Also, as I just mentioned, I just had my third laparoscopic surgery for endometriosis, which was actually an exploratory surgery for the mystery pain I’ve been having for months. But during the surgery, my doctor found more endometriosis and scar tissue and removed it all. While we were hopeful this would resolve my mystery pain, it has not. So I’m not only healing from this procedure, but I’m also still trying to figure out what is causing this pain and how I can fix it in order to move ahead with fertility treatment.
Speaking of fertility treatments, everything that has been going on in regard to my fertility has really taken a toll on my mental health. I feel like I’ve lost a bit of myself that I’m trying to get back. I’m trying to remain hopeful and have faith. I’m trying to do what I can to help my fertility without stripping myself of all sense of normalcy in my life. It’s been hard, and that doesn’t even come close to verbalizing the full impact of it. But still, I’m trying to forge ahead as best as I can while taking care of myself.
I don’t know what the future holds, and declaring that I am on a journey of healing myself from the past year doesn’t mean I won’t have any more health challenges ahead to face. I sincerely hope I do not, at least for a long while, but we can never know what lies ahead. I understand that life is a series of ups and downs, and life with chronic illness or other health challenges is no different. All we can do is hope for the best and live each day as fully as we can regardless of what challenges may come in the future.
Here’s to healing and finding myself again!
XO,
Laurie
